


See You, Fantasy Car Boys

by Valaxiom



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Car Boys - Freeform, Crack, Driving, Epic Friendship, Fluff, Gen, Ignis is Exhausted, M/M, No Smut, Poor Driving, Poor Life Choices, Regalia Type-D Hate, Stupidly Large Cars, implied ot4 if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 03:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11394624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valaxiom/pseuds/Valaxiom
Summary: Prompto desperately wants to try out the "FRICKING BADASS" new model of the Regalia that Cindy offers to the group at Hammerhead. Ignis is firmly against this, but gets outvoted and is cranky about it.T-rating is for mild language only.





	See You, Fantasy Car Boys

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, I loathe the Regalia Type-D because it doesn't fit my cool-punk aesthetic (and I also got stuck on a rock for a while and my friend wouldn't stop laughing at me). I feel like Ignis is in the same boat. 
> 
> I sprinkled a few references from Polygon.com's Car Boys series in here, see if you notice them!

“No.”

“But Igniiis!”

“Absolutely not.”

“C’mon, that’s the coolest car ever! How can you not be on board with this? Gladio, Noct, back me up here!”

Gladiolus looked up from the novel he was reading to see Prompto doing his best impression of a pleading baby chocobo. Ignis was rubbing at his temples, and Noctis was dozing in the Regalia. The car that Cindy was currently offering to swap out for a new set of wheels. A much larger set of wheels.

“Gladio, it’ll be so cool! We could run over Dualhorns with this thing and it won’t even be scratched!”

Ignis snorted. “It’s an eyesore, it’s awful on gas, and if we get stuck in the middle of nowhere, there is no way that your scrawny limbs will be able to budge this thing a centimeter.”

“Hey! I’m not that scrawny!”

Gladio snickered at that, then went back to his book and let the two of them continue to bicker. Hammerhead was peaceful this afternoon, and with their current hunting target being of the nocturnal variety, the four of them had decided to take a rest. Well, Noctis was resting. He was currently sprawled in a particularly unkingly fashion across most of the back seat, and if Gladio was correct, there was a small puddle of royal drool forming on his charge’s jacket collar.

Meanwhile, Prompto had gone off to pester Cindy into inventing more ways to fuck up the Regalia. Noctis had personally approved of the chocobo decals and the moogles, and Ignis had grudgingly accepted the Ebony Coffee sticker. Gladiolus didn’t really care what the car looked like, as long as the damn thing kept running. Whenever they had to get out and push, he inevitably ended up shouldering most of the weight. Not that he minded an opportunity to go shirtless, but it got old after a while, and he really wanted to finish his book.

His book, which got knocked out of his grasp by a poorly-aimed bag of potato chips.

“Hey! Watch what you’re doing!”

Ignis appeared to be chasing after Prompto, who was currently holding both of the sets of the car’s keys and pelting the royal advisor with sealed junk food, in a vain effort to deter him.

“Prompto, give those back!”

“Gladio, the Regalia Type-D has offroad capabilities! We can camp anywhere you like, my man! And it looks fricking sweet!”

“Prompto-“

“Gladio, catch!”

Gladiolus caught the keys effortlessly, then, much to Ignis’ horror, began to stroll towards Cindy’s garage.

“What are you doing? Give those back!”

“Iggy, it’s got offroad abilities. You know I can’t pass that up.” With Prompto cheering in the entrance to the garage, Gladio whistled as he went to deliver the keys and his approval to Cindy.

Ignis groaned and leaned against the side of the classic Regalia, his face in his hands. He didn’t bother chasing after both Prompto and Gladio, and he knew better than to try and persuade Noct that the small, inconspicuous car was far superior to the gas-guzzling monstrosity that Prompto was currently drooling over. Instead of mourning the loss of the comfortable, if somewhat fragile, Regalia, Ignis went to the diner in order to do his best to ignore the modifications that were taking place. He distracted himself by thinking up new recipes and drinking cheap coffee.

Noctis found him in the diner later that evening with six empty cups in front of him and one that was still half-full of Ebony.

“Wow,” said the prince, between yawns. “That bad, huh?”

“I haven’t dared to look out at the new vehicle yet,” said Ignis grimly. He continued to jot down notes in his recipe notepad, if with a slightly shakier-than-normal hand. Noctis noticed this with interest, but the irritable tone in his adviser's voice kept him from commenting on it.

“Well, it’s time to go on the hunt. You ready?”

“I suppose.”

When they reached the Regalia Type-D, Ignis immediately made a beeline for the backseat. At Noctis’ inquiry, he merely stated that he refused to be the one in charge of the ‘smelly scrap-heap,’ that was meant to deliver them to their objective.

Prompto and Gladio both eyed the drivers’ seat warily, each unwilling to step forward. It was clear that neither of them had expected to get this far.

“Prompto, you were the most vocal about wanting this, you get the privilege of driving,” Gladio said. “Also, I call shotgun.”

Prompto’s eyes went a little wider, but he covered up any nervousness with an energetic clamber into the driver’s seat.

“Oh my god, you guys, they have speakers and a bunch of fancy sound stuff! This changes everything!”

Ignis resigned himself to the worst car trip of his life as Prompto started an obnoxiously loud dubstep playlist. The thud-thud-thud of the bass was easily surpassed by Ignis’ heartrate.

Gladiolus and Ignis both put their seatbelts on.

Noctis was asleep, so Ignis reached over and made sure that his charge was also safely strapped into the car. After five minutes of driving in the open scrublands, Ignis was awed once more by Prince Noctis’ ability to sleep through anything. The ride was agressively bumpy, even with the truck’s stupidly-huge wheels and heavy-duty seatbelts. Prompto’s inexpert handling of the vehicle and the repetitive bashing of bass drops didn’t help to lower Ignis’ anxiety. He normally preferred gentler music while driving, and the sheer amount of noise generated by the massive car’s inner workings was horrific.

Ignis had never been so relieved to reach the site of a hunt. He was the first one out of the car, closely followed by a slightly-green, but very happy Prompto.

“Dude! That was so cool! We can never go back to the old car now!” He punctuated this statement by throwing up his dinner, then having Gladio yell at him for wasting sun chips as a full meal.

Ignis sighed and went to go kill some random wild animals. Either Gladiolus was driving them back or they were walking back- there was no way he was ever letting Prompto maneuver a piece of machinery that destructive and bouncy ever again.

At least it hadn’t been Noctis at the wheel.

 


End file.
